Guess Who's Missing?

If you guessed Eric, you are right.

On Friday he found out he would be heading to D.C., again, on Sunday.

Eric works with a company that does some contract work for the Department of Defense. So the last time he was called out there it was to test some servers for some errors and then correct the errors. We all know how things went that time around and I thought all was well.

Well Friday morning he finds out that the Department of Defense guy that was the "witness" to what they did on the server - stepped down. Apparently his wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer and he wanted to be with her or whatever.

So, Eric had to leave to go to all the tests again in front of the new guy so that he knew what was going on.

I am sad to say that even though I knew why Eric had to go out there again, I was ticked. Partly because I was afraid of a longer trip than originally planned. And guess what, I just found out that instead of him being home Tuesday, he won't be home until Thursday.

Anyway Eric and I got into this argument about it and why I was so upset. During the course of the argument I told him that he had it easy. (For the most part, he only has to work until 4 and the rest of the time is his to do as he pleases. Me, I have 4 little bosses demanding something almost every minute)

Eric then said one thing that really made me stop and think. He said, "I would love to be able to stay home and snuggle with the kids."

Staying home is something I take for granted way too much. I don't usually take the time to think of how blessed I am to be home for my kids and to watch them learn and grow. It is something I have to constantly remind myself of. It is a blessing and not a curse.

Anyway, so Sunday came and Eric left early in the morning. I debated about going to church by myself with the 4 kids, but knew it was where I was supposed to be, so headed out. Halfway through Sacrament meeting, I was wondering why I was there. (Sorry again, Balls & Hackings) The kids do not behave real well unless Eric is there and I didn't have a lot of free arms as Nathaniel needed attention. So what do I do? Let the baby scream his head off or wrestle with the 3 older kids who know better? Neither one is real reverent...I was at a loss.

We make it through Sacrament meeting and the kids head to Primary and I head to Sunday School & Relief Society.

The lesson in Sunday School kinda went in one ear and out the other except for one quote that just floored me. It is as follows:

"Love is a potent healer. Realizing that, Satan would separate you from the power of the love of God, kindred, and friends, who want to help. He would lead you to feel that the walls are pressing in around you and there is no escape or relief. He wants you to believe you lack the capacity to help yourself and that no one else is really interested. If he succeeds, you will be driven to further despair and heartache. His strategy is to have you think you are not appreciated, loved, or wanted so that you in despair will turn to self-critisism and in the extreme even to despising yourself and feeling evil when you are not."

- Richard G. Scott

In Relief Society the lesson was about the letters Joseph Smith wrote to Emma while he was away. Joseph Smith was away quite a bit and left his wife and little family a lot. It was brought out that we are kind of lucky to live in such a technological age but at the same time it's kind of sad because the art of writing letters is lost.

This lesson hit me hard. How lucky am I that I can chat with my husband or even video chat with him while he is away. I don't have to wait weeks for a letter to hear how he was on Sunday and so forth.

In short, I am so thankful I actually went to church on Sunday and for the lessons that were presented. It was kind of the kick in the pants that I needed. Quit feeling sorry for myself and realize that I really don't have it as bad as I like to make it out to be.