DAY 7 - SOMETHING YOU NEED TO FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR
What I really need to forgive myself for is (I'm trying to word this somewhat tastefully) having an intimate relationship with Eric before we were married.It was so drilled into my head by my parents before I even started dating that if a guy really loved you, he'd wait. Well maybe so. But what happens when you reach that stage? It's not easy to just turn those feelings off. I just wasn't prepared enough for the situation.
Now, thankfully we've made a wonderful life since and we were lucky enough to not deal with an unexpected pregnancy long before we were ready. So, I should be able to put the past behind me. Not so - I still feel so much shame about it and don't like telling people who 'made the right choices'.
It's easy to tell people that ended up pregnant as teens, but I feel everyone else will judge me. I judged people before it all happened to me. And I've come to realize it doesn't just happen to the 'bad' girls - it can happen to anyone.
So there you have it - the one true thing I really need to forgive myself for.
I still remember when you talked to me about this in high school. I honestly feel like you did more for me than I did for you at the time. I felt like no one would trust me with anything, that everyone felt like I was judging them. When you talked to me, all I felt was worry and concern for you ... and hope that it would all be okay. But, through our conversation, you taught me that my true friends always know that I am not judging them ... but that perhaps I don't know how to express myself well. So, thank you.
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