I Feel Pretty

This story actually begins many eons months ago. We're talking like summertime of 2011. But, sit tight and the reason it's being told 6 months later will make sense...

So last summer I had friends of mine raving about a little clothing store and I kept hearing more and more about it. I finally started following this little boutique on Facebook. They would post such cute things and I would admire them from a distance.

Being a mother of 5, with only one income coming into this home - I rarely have money for me. When I do have money for me I usually spend it on scrapbook or craft stuff. I do this for a few reasons:

* I enjoy working with my hands and I feel 'free' when I am doing something crafty.
* Scrapbook supplies costs much less than clothing - I get more bang for my buck!
* Scrapbook supplies can be used so many ways...
* I tend to shop at Kohl's and not really anywhere else for clothes
* Shopping for clothes is depressing

Anyway, so I was following the boutique for a few months, had never stepped inside their doors and just kept admiring things from a distance. Towards the end of August they announced that they were looking for models for that year.

I read it and thought, "Oh, that would be fun - but I'd never be chosen." So I let it go. Then, the day before the deadline, on much of a whim - I decided to send a few pictures in. These are the pictures I sent:

-- This one was the best picture I had of a full body shot --

Off went the email and I pretty much wrote it off after that. Within a few days I had forgotten all about it.

Fast forward to the night of September 6, 2011 (I only remember the day because it was the day before I heard of  my Grandma's passing) - I am checking my email and see an email from an unknown name with the subject: CONGRATULATIONS.... It didn't get sent to my junk mail, so I decided to open it and see what it was all about.

After opening the email I saw that the actual subject line was: CONGRATULATIONS 2011 SEXYMODEST MODELS!!!!

I was floored. I had totally written the whole thing off and had convinced myself I would DEFINITELY not be chosen. We've discussed before that my self-esteem isn't great. It never has been. I am overweight and don't feel beautiful, so the fact that I was chosen really shocked me.

Again, I've never considered myself to be pretty. My awkward teenage years seemed to last a whole lot longer than other people's. I knew NOTHING about makeup and had to figure out the whole hair styling by myself.  I was thankful for a friend, Jessica, that moved into the neighborhood sometime before high school. She taught me a bunch about makeup and turned the unwanted tom-boy in me into a more feminine version.

While I was thrilled that I was actually chosen to be a model, I was also quite overwhelmed. I wanted to like 'nice' for my pictures, but natural as well. Thankfully, timing being what it was - my wonderful friend, Jobi had just moved back into the neighborhood and had found a job at a salon and had an opening on the Saturday before the big first meeting.

I found the hairstyle I wanted and Jobi got it perfectly. She also spent time explaining what she was doing and I was taking every mental note I could so that I could replicate the style when it came time for it.

In the meantime it was discovered that another friend of mine, Catey, had been chosen to be another model. So we decided to go to our 'mandatory meeting' together. The meeting was short and sweet and just told us what to expect and we signed up for a time for the photo shoot. Because there was 2 slots open for each time frame - Catey and I went together.

I was extremely anxious when the day actually came, though. The night before I had YouTubed makeup tutorials so that I could make my makeup look just a bit better. My hair didn't want to keep it's curl for anything and it also decided to rain. 

I was thankful to have gone with Catey. She had done this modeling thing a couple times before and kinda knew what to expect (she is currently featured on Hapari's website) and that helped me relax a bit more. When we arrived at SexyModest we were outfitted with the look one of the owners thought best suited us. I was pleased with what she chose for me and I even got to wear the necklace I had been eyeing a few nights before. (Sadly, it's not there anymore and I missed my chance to buy it... :( ) Then the photographers took us out and took pictures. I'm somewhat frustrated that even though the guy took like 5 pictures, they only gave me 1. A lot of the other girls had 5 or more, oh well.

Here's me in my first (and possibly last) ever photo shoot:

And here's the video:

All in all I am so thankful for this experience and for what it did for me. The guy who chose the photos (Jason) will probably never know what he did for me in that short period of time, but I will always remember it.