A Bit of Introspection

This post is probably gonna come across harshly or something, but this is the way I keep my journal, so ignore it if you want.

I recently came across a huge revelation, thanks in part to my High School Reunion. How many people who I think are my "friends" really aren't? How many people are "friends" with me out of pity, or "friends" with me because I am a friend of a friend...

While I enjoyed my High School Reunion for the most part (there are a couple people who I KNOW are real friends) I also realized I don't/didn't have that many friends at all. I thought I did, but who knows. I know there were a couple people who didn't show up at all that I spent a lot of time with in High School, and a lot of my time was spent with the people who I worked with - who all went to different schools. But even them I am questioning... Eric and I sat at a table with ONE other couple. A girl he was friends with through Jr. High & High School, but when they cut out early, Eric & I were left looking like losers. Thankfully the night ended on a high note when we played games with one of aforementioned friends.

It's possible I am reading into things, isn't that always a possibility? But you've got to wonder - IF I had any/more friends, wouldn't I be out of the house more often? I should be used to all this...growing up I was always a 3rd wheel or the last choice, except for a blessed 8 years. I guess some things never change.

Another way I came to this realization is that the possibility of moving came up. I sat back and realized the only two, maybe three reasons I would be sad to go is because:

A) The school AND staff are terrific. I've had no complaints about it at all!
B) The kids have lots of friends. In fact Shaylyn is so "popular" in the ward that I am referred to as "Shaylyn's mom."
C) I feel this neighborhood is relatively safe and it looks nice.

Other than that, I would pack up & leave in a heartbeat. At least I would be closer to my little sister who is one of my best friends.

Eric feels that part of this issue is "us" or more specifically ''me" as he has friends out here. For me it is awkward to be the 3rd wheel, yet again. It leaves me stuck feeling like I am trying to join some secret society and I keep failing all the tests. I am also very shy - I constantly wonder if people really like me and they are genuine or if they are just trying to be nice. I think I'd rather people just spit in my face (okay, not literally) than pretend they are my friends. It would be easier that way.

I guess I'll leave it at that. This whole moving thing is most definitely going to be a matter of prayer...

What Happens Next...

I'm Just Gonna Say It...

Just a note - this is a totally random post....

So it all started with a little group that was big in the '90's called 'NSync.

I was either in High School or Jr. High - I really don't remember when they first came on the scene...Of course being a teenage girl and the band being teenage boys, I was bound to have a couple "crushes", right?

Anyway in this particular band, only one guy really caught my attention, Lance Bass. I wasn't a crazy, psycho fan or anything, but I did think he was good looking AND he had a good voice to boot!

Fast forward 10 (give or take) years and he comes out of the closet...Gosh, Darnit! Oh well, life goes on. I am happily married and like my life would've ever cooincided with his.

Then comes Season 2 of American Idol. This was the first season I watched religiously. I mainly started watching because of a state native that was competing and of course we were rooting for her.

But, my attention was also taken by one of the male competitors who came in 2nd - Clay Aiken.

Now there was speculation from the get-go that he was gay, but I kept saying "No, no, no - he can't be." I didn't want to believe it. Then a couple weeks ago I hear that through artificial insemination and some woman willing to carry a child - he is having a child with roommate and best friend, some 40 or 50 year old guy...

Apparently my judgement of celebrity men, isn't all that great!

If last season's American Idol 2nd placer, Blake Lewis (who of course I "fell" for)

or the guy in the movie "Grease" who is an old man now, but still as good looking as ever, who goes by the name of John Travolta -

EVER come out of the closet, I may boycott music forever...

At least I can be reassured that my cute hubby isn't ever going to need to come out of the closet. :D

I love you hon!

What Happens Next...

I Go Back

In honor of my 10 year high school reunion taking place TOMORROW, I've decided to create a little slide show of my high school years...I still can't believe it's been 10 years, where did they go?

Graduation wasn't a great day for me - I won't go into details, except that it all started with forgetting my cap at home and waiting nervously for my dad to return with it...Thus, the "excited" look on my face in these snapshots...

What Happens Next...

A Week of Fun

So last week we had a pretty fun week. It was the week of Lex's 4th birthday. Lex shares his birthday with my little brother, so on Monday we headed to my parents house to celebrate my little brother.

Of course we did the whole gift and singing the Happy Birthday song and everything...While I was figuring this was just the day to celebrate my little brother, everyone else sang Happy Birthday Logan & Lex...I dunno. Guess we should have been more clear on who we were celebrating. Lex even got to open a present from one of his aunts. He got an Indiana Jones whip. (Don't worry it is soft) We had a fun night playing games and eating lots of yummy junk food.

Tuesday I don't remember, don't think anything major happened...

Wednesday was Lex's actual birthday. We had bought him a bike (so that he can keep up with brother & sister) and a helmet. I got Lex into the bath and brought the bike in the house while he was in the tub. While I was cleaning Lex up Tanis & Shaylyn had "wrapped" the bike with blankets. (I'm glad they are creative) After Lex got out of the tub, it took him a minute to realize that there was something in the front room for him. He was so excited when he pulled the blankets off to discover a real bike! We didn't do much else on his actual birthday as Eric had to work that night, but we made plans to "celebrate" on Thursday.

Thursday night we headed to the zoo for a Member's Night. The last member's night we went to there was hardly anyone there. This time however, is was packed. I have honestly NEVER seen it so packed! It was probably because there is a carousel there now. While we didn't look at many animals (we were in line for the carousel for at least 30 minutes) we had fun anyway. After the zoo we headed to TGIF for a late dinner.

Friday was spent cleaning the house for the party on Saturday. Friday night I had the great opportunity to go see "The White Star" which is the sequel to "Saturday's Warrior" with my mom, sister and grandma. My sister had bought tickets for our Mother's Day gift. I loved the play, even though I was in tears the whole time...It hits home for people with real young children.

After a late night Friday (I didn't get home until about 12:30) I had to get up a bit early to finish cleaning the house. Lex's party was at 12. We enjoyed all the people who came to visit and wish Lex a happy birthday. I still can't believe he is 4!!!!

This week has been much calmer and that is a good thing as the next couple weeks are gonna be fairly busy. So, if you don't hear from me for awhile that is why.

What Happens Next...

My Valentine's Day Gift

What a weird topic for June, eh?

Anyways, so if you'll remember clear back in February I mentioned how Eric got me a gift certificate for Valentine's Day. Well the gift certificate was for a place called Shooting Stars. (If you click on the name, you will be taken to the site)

So I called to set up my appointment. They were so booked that they couldn't get me in until May 10. That was okay because I wasn't sure I wanted to do the photo session being 7 months pregnant anyway. So I waited...

May 10th rolls around and we are headed out to the studio when we get the call that the stylist is sick and so they'd have to reschedule me. Yes, stuff like this happens to me quite often - I should be used to it by now.

We reschedule for the following Friday, May 16th. I have to ask my sister and brother-in-law to babysit for me as Eric had to work both jobs and I knew I wouldn't get home before he had to go to the second job.

So after an uncomfortable few hours alone with the stylist & photographer (I just really hate being the center of attention) the final product was done, although I had to wait another few days before I could even see my photos...

The next Wednesday rolls around and Eric and I head to the studio (along with all the kids) to view all of my portraits and decide on the ones we wanted. This was fun - she did a little slideshow thing and had us quickly decide between two photos, side by side, until we made our decisions on our favorites. Eric and I have very different views on which pictures looked good. I guess I am just too picky about my self photos. Anyway, we narrowed it down to our 4 favorites, which I will post.

I still had to wait until Tuesday to pick the pictures up...Talk about a long, drawn out process. Overall though I was very happy with the gift and did enjoy myself, even though I felt extremely awkward...

So, here's one of the ones Eric and I disagreed on...I liked the above picture better, he preferred the picture below....

Threw this one in for fun...

Another one Eric preferred, but with this one and it's competitor, I didn't really care...

What Happens Next...

It Finally Happened!!!!

The grass IS greener on our side at least....HAHAHA

For three weeks we had been trying to get sod for the backyard and get it completed. Three weeks ago it rained horribly and we of course knew that we wouldn't be getting the sod as it was rained out, so they weren't able to cut it.

Then two weeks ago the weather seemed to be cooperating with us, until Thursday. On Thursday it rained off and on for awhile, but I didn't think it would be enough to stop the sod from getting cut, sadly, I was mistaken.

Finally, last week the weather cooperated and the sod was delievered on Friday for it to be put in on Saturday morning. I was relieved...Until Saturday morning when we awoke to more rain!!!!

Eric was really worried about things because the backyard was so muddy that it would be hard to get the sod lain correctly and everything. And the sod is supposed to be transplanted within 8 hours of delivery. We didn't know what would happen if Saturday didn't work out. Eric decided to give the weather a few hours to see what would happen. Luckily for us around noon the clouds cleared, the sun had come out and the backyard was dry.

So enter in Eric's brother, dad, uncle and one of Eric's friends, they worked laboriously for 4 1/2 hours getting the sod put it. I am very thankful for all of their help and hard work. I am so excited to have grass in the backyard - no more mud being tracked in by the dog and the kids have a huge area where they can play now.

So once again, thanks you guys for all your hard work and the sacrifices on your physical beings.

What Happens Next...