30 Days of Truth: Day 18

DAY 18: SOMEONE YOU MET RANDOMLY THAT'S MADE AN IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE

I had to think about this answer for awhile, but I came up with an answer and that answer is my ex-boyfriend, Tolon.


Think that's an odd answer? Well keep on reading - it'll make sense at the end.

It was the start of my Junior year of high school and because I have a birthday in Fall I had Driver's Ed first semester. I only knew one person in the whole class though it ended up not mattering because the teacher sat us alphabetically. An odd way alphabetically, but it ended up that I was sat next to this kid named Tolon.

I didn't know him from Adam. He went to a different Jr. High school and I really didn't know anyone he knew and vice versa. But being the kind person he is - he started talking with me. It wasn't long before we fell into 'deep like.'

By the end of the semester we were officially a 'couple' and even had a few classes together. (Does every high school couple do that or was it just me with my boyfriends?) We only dated for about 5 months because I eventually got bored and started getting a crush on Eric. HAHAHA!


I've explained how I met Tolon randomly, but now I'll get to the reason he had such an impact on my life.

I was very unsure of myself. VERY unsure. I hated that I had to wear glasses, I thought I was horribly fat and my older sister like never dated so I was sure my high school life was going to be a similar story. I even told my bishop at the time that I was NEVER going to date. Not because I didn't want to, but because no one would want to date me.

So then came Tolon. He genuinely liked me! I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't. He liked the person I was. He made me look for the good in life, made me search for the good in myself. He came to see me before Christmas one Saturday morning and I hadn't gotten dressed or done my hair or any of that stuff. I was so mortified that he saw me in that condition, but he said something to the effect of he still thought I looked pretty. That was an awesome thing to hear. Now Eric will try to tell me that he said it just because he was a guy and he wanted something - but I'll tell you it was just him. That's the way he was. He was always trying to build me up and NEVER said anything to destroy me emotionally. I felt really bad that I broke up with him. My mom even told me that I was a happier person with Tolon and she honest to goodness wrote him a letter thanking him for all that he did for me.


Because of Tolon I was able to learn to love myself a little more. I was able to see what I was capable of. I found out that there was more to me than a goofy girl with glasses. He taught me that there are possibilites in life and sometimes it's fun to be a little spontaneous. It may have only been 5 short months of my life, but everything he taught me has lasted a lifetime!

So there is the person I met randomly that's made an impact in my life. And to be fair here, Eric has done so much more than Tolon did, but Tolon was the first one that happened along and I didn't really meet Eric randomly otherwise I may have chosen him. ;)

What Happens Next...

30 Days of Truth: Day 17

DAY 17: SOMEONE WITH WHOM YOU SHARED A FRIENDSHIP/RELATIONSHIP THAT SIMPLY DRIFTED OUT OF YOUR LIFE

I could answer this with so many people. Seriously. As a kid it seemed that every time I made a best/really good friend they would move away. It happened A LOT! (No wonder I have abandonment issues and don't open up easily...) I still get sad when I think about how many friendships I've lost because of people moving. I am not very good at long distance friendships apparently. Thankfully, I've found a lot of those people again on Facebook, but not all of them.

For this topic I chose Jenny J.


Jenny was my bestest friend from about 5th grade to 7th. We shared so much and had so much fun together. We both came from large families and knew the feeling of only having money for our needs.

Both of our families respected the Sabbath Day in as much that neither one of us were allowed to play on Sunday. (That wasn't the case with all the kids in the ward) We both understood what it was like to feel like a bit of an 'outcast' and to not really be considered one of the 'pretty' girls.

We spent A LOT of time together. It didn't matter whose house we were at either because the noise level was the same in both places. Our Mom's had a few kids at the same time and we bonded over that. Her mom lost a baby shortly before my mom did and Jenny 'held my hand' dealing with the experience.

Jenny's Dad got a good job in a city that was about an hour from my house, so they built a big, beautiful home in that city and moved away. Jenny was so much better at keeping in contact than I was. Eventually, the correspondence just stopped.

My mom still received Christmas letters from Jenny's mom that told what everyone was up to. I lived for that letter so I could see how my friend was doing. It was always nice to hear what she was accomplishing and knowing that she stayed on the path that she had wanted to.

When she got married, we got an invite (well my parents did). I, of course, HAD to go! I was pregnant with Shaylyn I think and felt a bit awkward around her on her big day. She was so sweet though and made sure to take time to talk with me and see what I was up to. A year or so later, through the yearly Christmas letter, I found out that she and her husband had moved out of state so that he could go to school.

I was working PT at the job I had in High School around Christmas time one year and in walked Jenny and her mom. I was FLOORED! First of all, Jenny was living out of town and secondly, the mall I worked at was at least 45 minutes from her mom's house. But for whatever reason they ordered something that only the store in the mall I was working in had. Jenny just happened to be visiting for Christmas.

It was so nice to see her again and to visit for a few minutes. That was the last time I saw her and that was a good 6 years ago or so. For awhile a bit back we were exchanging emails and I even read her blog. But then when I updated my blog I totally lost her blog address and have also lost her email address...I am a horrible friend.

I would love to run into her again. She's one of those friends that I can just talk to right where we left off.

What Happens Next...

30 Days of Truth: Day 16

Hi. It's me. I've been missing again - did you notice? My sister noticed, she even called me a 'BLOG SLACKER'...Well guess what? I'm making excuses for myself again. Tuesday night of last week I felt like I may be getting sick. I ate dinner and thought it had passed so I went to book club. A few hours later it came back with a vengeance and I left.

Woke up Wednesday and was SICK. I figured it was probably STREP AGAIN, but wasn't positive. By Thursday I was POSTIVE it was STREP - we went to Instacare and yup, Strep. So yeah - Wednesday and Thursday I was totally out of it, Friday I still wasn't feeling quite up to par. Saturday I had to reclaim the house and Sunday was spent with family.

Therefore, I am going to start the truths right where I left off. Had I known how crazy the month of August would be for me - I would've held off on the truths until September. Oh well.



DAY 16 - A BOOK YOU'VE READ THAT CHANGED YOUR VIEWS ON SOMETHING

Years ago I could've skipped out on this one because I really didn't read very much. However, over the last few years that has changed tremendously. I feel odd when I don't have something to read, but I'm kinda picky about what I read as well. That's really besides the point. Now I've got at least 2 books that come to my mind quickly.

#1 - MOTHER HAD A SECRET by Tiffany Fletcher


Mental illness has always intriqued me. Not like I've got to see someone with a mental illness type thing, more of a 'WHY?' do these things happen to the brain curiousity. And you always think of "Oh, that poor soul. They are trapped inside their own head and world...", you rarely think of the families affected by this person.

This book is by a lady who grew up with a mom with split personalities. They learned to fend for themselves at a young age as Mom wasn't really 'there' and Dad was working hard to keep them afloat.

Tiffany is very open and honest with the feelings she had for her mother all those years. How she grew to resent her mother for putting her 6 (I think) children in such a place. She talks about how much she hated her mother at times. She talked about being scared to leave on an LDS mission because her mother threatened her not to go and she worried about the siblings she was leaving behind.

I loved that this was an honest account of feelings and that it is by an LDS author, who grew up a member all her life. And that they tried to show the word that they were a 'perfect' family when in all reality they were anything but!

This changed my views on just dealing with the affected person to actually looking at the family and how it affects their lives as well. I just can't imagine a life where my Mom wasn't able to care for me. It is so sad. It also changed my views on being so quiet about things that have made me upset in the past. Sometimes in order to heal - we need to air what's hurt us in some way!

#2 - SING YOU HOME - Jodi Picoult


Jodi Picoult is my all-time favorite author. I was hooked on her writing with the 1st book I've read. She's written like 15 and I've read them all. I haven't liked the all the same, but I've liked them all.

The last one I read was an unexpected read - and probably my least favorite book by her. I didn't even pay attention to what the book was about - I just bought it and read it. And woah! Did I ever have a surprise in this book. I'll admit that there were a few times I wanted to put it down, but just couldn't.

This book actually talks about a Lesbian couple fighting for the rights of one of the partners frozen embryos. Yeah, kind of an odd subject.

HOWEVER, this book was very well written. Jodi put both sides of the argument in the book and never really shows favoritism one way or the other. There's the religious side of it all and then there's the side for the Lesbian/Gay communities and for their rights.

Because gay marriage is only legal in one state at this moment in time, this couple has to get married in a state they don't reside in, which means their home state DOES NOT recognize that they are married.

Now, I haven't changed my opinion that gay marriage is 'wrong', but I do see a need for the world to give these people EQUAL RIGHTS! Seriously. I know that I shouldn't necessarily side with 'Gay Marriage', but I do really feel these people should be allowed to love each other and be with each other and have all the rights that married people do.

I don't know, my eyes were just really opened with this book about how unfair the world treats Lesbian/Gay couples in the medical field and legally. Having two brothers that are 'gay', it breaks my heart to think about all that could happen medically/legally to them that could really break their strength. I guess when you have family members dealing with the whole same sex attraction thing - your view changes. I just think that there needs to be some change. That's all.

What Happens Next...

30 Days of Truth: Day 15

DAY 15: A BAND/MUSICAL ARTIST WHOSE MUSIC IMPACTED YOUR LIFE

This is a strange truth, in my opinion. It wasn't very easy for me either. There really isn't any group/person that's IMPACTED my life, but these two have played a huge role in my love of music, so I'm going in that direction.

#1 - Reba McEntire


Reba was one of the very first musicians I listened to. It could be because my cousin bore an uncanny resemblance to Reba for a long time...


...or it could just be that my brother was big into country music and I started to fall in love with Reba's songs. I also remember being at a friends house once, watching music videos (we didn't have cable channels at my house) and Reba's Fancy came on. I was pretty much hooked.




Since then Reba has gotten a hold of some very awesome songs that have touched me in just the right way. She's not afraid to go after those 'risky' topic songs and puts emotion into everything she does. She is a terrific story teller and she really seems like a down to earth person. (Of course, I could really be wrong there.)

My favorite song by Reba right now is I Keep On Loving You.

#2 - SHeDAISY

I was really into country music when Eric and I first got married. We were living in his parents basement and Eric was still working a mall job - which meant he worked some nights. Because I had a 'real' job, I was often home 'alone' at night.

I spent a good portion of those nights watching the country music video channels on tv. I kept seeing a music video and swore I had seen one of the girls before. Eric told me I was crazy, I probably was. Although, she is actually in SATURDAY'S WARRIOR - so there!

Anyway, I kept watching this video and decided I liked the music A LOT! I did some digging and found out they were from UTAH! And even more than that, they lived in the city next to the city I grew up in. Of course, that made me want their music even more.

So I bought their first CD. While looking at the dedications on the cover jacket I noticed a last name. They were thanking a whole family of this last name. It wasn't a popular last name and I knew of people with the same last name and I wondered if they could be related. A few years later I discovered they were. I actually grew up with cousins of SHeDAISY's.

Even without knowing they were related to these people, I fell in love with the music. The sister that writes the music is so talented and has penned a few songs that describe my feelings to a 't'. So they've always been big on my list because they've been able to say things that I am feeling, but struggle to say.

The first video I ever saw was Little Goodbyes:




My favorite song right now is God Bless The American Housewife:

What Happens Next...

30 Days of Truth: Day 14

I got waaaaaaaay behind. I am well aware of that. We've have some fun weekends (more on that to come in a bit) and I haven't been feeling very well mentally, so I either wasn't able to blog or didn't feel up to it. And instead of trying to play catch up for 10 (give or take) missed entries, I'm just going to start from here where I left off!



DAY 14: SOMEONE WHO HAS MADE YOUR LIFE WORTH LIVING

I could go with the obvious/easy answer to this question and go with my kids, but I already used them and I think I need to give some others credit for what they've done.

The people that have made my life worth living is Eric's family!



I seriously couldn't have asked for a better family to marry into. Eric's parents have been great to me from day one. They accepted me for who I was and looked past all the faults that I had. There was A LOT of conflict going on with my parents and me after they found out about the realtionship Eric and I had and life just wasn't easy. My parents told Eric and I a couple of times that we should just break up and call it quits.

Eric's parents never said anything in the negative and always tried to help us out in what they thought would be the best course of action for us. At one point Eric's parents offered to let me move in with them (Of course strict rules would be in place). It never got to that point, but knowing that that option was there meant A TON to me!

Eric's brothers are terrific men! His oldest brother, Ken, has been such an example to me. He is so very patient with life and stands up for what he needs to stand up for. Eric always talked highly of Ken and followed in Ken's footsteps quite a bit. They both ended up working with computers and are total geeks. But Eric remembers that Ken would ALWAYS let Eric bum around when Ken's friends were around. There is a 7 year age difference between them - but Ken never seemed to mind his kid brother hanging around.

I heard a story about Ken awhile ago about how growing up he had this 'friend' that wasn't so good to Ken in return. When Eric's mom questioned Ken about this kid and tried pointing out that this kid was just using Ken, Ken replied something to the effect of, "I know and it's okay, Mom." He is just that great of a guy. Doing so much for others even if they aren't always returning his sacrifices in the same way or to the same extent.

Ken has always been so great to me. Always polite and caring. When I was pregnant with Ailey, I was really struggling with it in many ways. One of the things I struggled with the most was telling Ken & his wife as they struggled YEARS to get pregnant 1 time. But we get pregnant whenever we want. Anyway, Ken's family came down for a visit and Ken very kindly asked me how I was feeling and doing. Knowing that he was hurting in his own way, but going out of his way to ask how I was doing meant a great deal - and he probably has no idea what it meant to me.



Eric's brother Greg is the older brother I never had (Yes, I have an older brother, but he's never been the stereotypical 'older brother'). Greg is great to joke around with and to have fun with.

Eric told me that Greg was also kind enough when he was little to let him chum around with him and his friends. Not as great as Ken, but he was good enough to do it at times as well. Eric has lots of fond memories doing things with Greg that maybe weren't quite so 'good', but they had fun doing it.

My kids adore Greg and always get excited when he is around. He's great with kids and the dice just haven't fallen well enough for him to have his own family yet. But he takes care of our kids and is always trying to do things for them and to keep them happy.

Greg has also shared some things with me that made me feel like I was actually a part of the family and accepted. He's shared truths that I would've never known to just look at him. But knowing that he's been able to share just a bit about his life means a lot. He also just accepted me from the start and was happy that his little brother found a person to build a life with.



Ken married Wendy. I'll be the first to say that Wendy and I are COMPLETE opposites! We've gone the rounds on a few occasions and we've had to just agree to disagree. That being said - Wendy is so very sweet.

She does so much for everyone around her and especially for her son! She remembers every kids' birthday and sends something for them. And that's not a small task when she has 3 siblings of her own and then 3 step-siblings, all with kids. That's a lot of people to keep track of!

We don't talk a lot because like I said, we are very opposite. She says exactly what she thinks and I tend to avoid confrontations. However, we've had some very nice conversations and she's been there for me on a couple of occasions when I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone else.

It's been nice having her around because she's taught me so much about acceptance, and about forgiving and forgetting things in the past. I marvel at all the things she seems to accomplish and how much of her time she spends giving to others!



So yes, Eric's family has really made my life worth living. They are such good people and they've always made me feel loved and accepted - even at times when I didn't feel accepted in my own home. So thank you Hardy Family!

What Happens Next...

24th Ball Game

Pioneer Day was a full fledged day for us this year. And it's a good thing - really.

We left the house around 10:30/11:00. Eric, the boys, his Dad and my little bro all went to Captain America. The girls and I headed to Eric's parents house to do some digi scrapbooking with Eric's mom.

Eric's mom had the idea to make a book of our Omaha trip. She thought it'd be fun if we worked on it together. Of course, I agreed. Any excuse to scrap, right? In the 3 hours the guys were gone all we accomplished was 1 full page and 2 started pages.

It takes me a bit longer making a page in MyMemories Suite than if I was using Paint Shop, but I wanted to use the same program as my MIL. She was getting frustrated with the program as well and was trying to figure something out and just couldn't get it figured out - so she swapped to her favorite program in the end, anyway. LOL!

Anyway, this is the page I completed:


When the boys returned we had a quick lunch/dinner - whatever you wanna call it. We had French Dip Sandwiches or BBQ Chicken Sandwiches. Of course I opted for the French Dip. I ate too much, but it was so yummy.

While my MIL was cleaning up lunch, I decided to take the two little ruffians (Nate & Ailey) for a quick ride to my Mom's. My little brother had slept over and left his bag in our car when they went to the movie. Well Eric's dad dropped him off at his house after the movie, so he still needed his stuff. I figured Ailey and Nate needed a change of scenery for a bit.

I visited with my Mom for about 15/20 minutes and she seemed so thankful. She said she was feeling kinda sad that she wasn't going to see any of her grandkids on the holiday. (My brother's MIL had a birthday that they were celebrating and my little sister was out of town). I was thankful that I took a few minutes out to go visit her. Ailey even said, "Bye, Grama!" and waved. I didn't realize she knew who Grandma was and that's what she was called - it was awesome!

When I got back to Eric's parents it was time to head to the Bees game! I always enjoy the games and love the fireworks after. We had to wait a bit in front for Eric's bro and girlfriend, Sava, as Eric's Dad had bought tickets online and didn't have physical tickets for us. Ailey was sitting on the ground and of course found all the cigarette butts she could. Thankfully, I caught them all and through them out before she stuffed them in her mouth.

We got settled in our seats and waited for the game to start. Eric's brother had had to run back to the car for something and when he came back - he had a Bees shirt for each of the kids! Apparently him and his girlfriend had gone to a game the week before and they were giving shirts out to the kids. Sava asked if she could have 4 for the nephews and neice and they gave them to her. They are so sweet.

After a few minutes Greg and Sava took all the kids, minus Ailey, with them and disappeared for awhile. When they came back Nate and Shaylyn had face paint on! They looked so cute. Lex and Tanis opted not to get any done.




Our seats were located right behind the RC Willey seats. We were being silly and were like, "Okay, we're right behind the RC Willey seats - you might get on camera kids." When the guy and Bees girls came over a few minutes before they started the camera rolling we got talking with the guy. He oogled over Ailey and said how his wife would just totally fall in love with her. (Aww, I know my baby's cute!) During the conversation it came out that we were telling the kids to get ready for the camera. The dude then asked if the kids wanted to be part of the segment. HAHAHA! It was awesome!

I did feel a bit bad for the people that had won those seats and that we invaded on their territory, but it was only a kid and an older sister. Had it been like a real big family I wouldn't have let it happen. It was fun to see our kids on the big screen. Sadly though, Tanis was hidden in all the pics I got of it.



After awhile the rain really started coming down. Thankfully there wasn't a whole lot of people at the game that night so we were able to move all the way up under the covered portion of the stadium. It was a good game and the Bees won it - which is always exciting. We had to wait a bit for the fireworks because of the wind. They waited for the wind to pass (Which it never really did) before starting the fireworks. The fireworks of course were AWESOME, but poor little Ailey didn't like it at all! Thankfully Daddy held her tight and everything was cool. Apparently Nate slept through most of the fireworks - LOL! Silly little man!


It was a good night and I always enough nights at the ballpark. Wish we went more often.

What Happens Next...

No Longer A Little Boy...

Tanis turned 11 on July 22. Seriously 11? I don't feel that old, so how is it possible that he is that old? Time and age are funny things.

On Tanis' actual birthday I had quite a day. I went to a job interview at 10 a.m. that ended up being a group interview. I felt really good about it and got home around 11:30. I wrapped up Tanis' gift and after the kids did some cleaning we let him open it up.


He was so excited to have a Harry Potter Lego set that he had to set it up right away. He didn't have a whole lot of time to get started on it because we had to head out to a movie. Around 12:00 or so, Tanis and I headed out.


Tanis decided he wanted to see Harry Potter 7.2 in 3D(Part of the reason only Tanis and I went - can you imagine the cost for the whole family!). Most of the time I don't care for 3D - but I thought it really added to Harry Potter. We ate lunch during the movie - we opted for pizza and breadsticks. Tanis thoroughly enjoyed the movie - even though he never saw 7.1 or even 6 for that matter.

After the movie was over we headed to the store to get his birthday party stuff. We lucked out and they had a Harry Potter cake already available, so we just had them write his name on it and we were off. They didn't have ANY decorations for Harry Potter - so I figured I could send Eric out the next day to a different Walmart to find some. Because it was Tanis' birthday I let him choose the meal to buy.

We got home and Tanis and Eric got busy finishing up Hagrid's Hut, while I made dinner. I like that what Tanis chose was simple and really just needed to be warmed up. We spent the rest of the evening just relaxing and enjoying each other's company.

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Tanis' birthday party was on Sunday the 24th. He had a slightly better turn out than Lex and I'm starting to think that having people come out to our house really doesn't work well. LOL!



Anyway, he was so happy all day and so very thankful for every gift he got.

Tanis really is a sweet kid. He was mostly pleased with all his gifts and was so glad to have everyone there.

Tanis is growing up so fast and it makes me sad. I remember those first few months with him, struggling to figure things out. I remember he didn't always like to go to sleep at night, and I'd get so stressed because I didn't want our neighbors hearing his crying and getting upset with us. So, he got a lot more snuggle time at night than the other kids have. The rest of them learned the hard way. ;)

He's been such a sweetheart his whole life, though. He's always concerned for others and is always willing to help Eric and me out. We rarely have to get after for Tanis for being disobedient or disrespectful. He really is a good kid and I am so thankful that he is my oldest. He is my saving grace on many occasions!

Happy Birthday, Bud!

What Happens Next...