I am bit confused as to why a few things are bothering me lately, when in all reality they shouldn't. Thus, the question: Why do I care?
#1: This whole layout competition thing - I went in just wanting to get the free kits and totally not expecting to really get anywhere. So why does it leave me thinking I have no talent for this and why did I do it when I knew what would happen. However, I didn't expect to only get 2 votes (and no, I didn't vote for myself) when others were getting 30.
Guess that could've been worse at least 2 people thought I was worth the effort. That made me feel a bit better. And then comes the pride issue. I look at the ones that made it through and wonder, "How the heck did that happen?"
#2: After posting our family pics on Facebook and getting all sorts of compliments (mainly on the kids) I then get one comment from an aquaintance I had in high school that says this: "sorry shilo not ment for you." Now I am assuming that this person was talking about my hair. (I guess they could've been talking about any number of things, or they accidentally posted something on my pics, when they meant another person's pics...Only there's not a deleted post prior to that one, so I doubt it)
It annoyed me. I have no idea why as this person is one of the VERY LAST people I would ever go to for fashion/style advice. And yes, this person is free to have their opinion - but why say something like that to someone? That's something you should keep to yourself.
I for one actually like my hair and quite a few other people have said the same. I suppose other people could be lying to me, but why? The girl that did my hair (You ARE AWESOME BTW) loved how it turned out as well and had so many nice things to say to me afterwards.
So why, when someone who isn't really in the 'fashion know' tells me something isn't meant for me, does it bug me so?
#3: I feel like no one really reads this blog. Which again, shouldn't make me upset since this is my way of keeping a 'journal' and I am hoping my decendants will want to take a gander at at least a few of my posts, yet it makes me feel sad.
Yeah, I know that isn't anyone's fault but my own. It's just one of those facts that's hard to face when the other blogs I read have comments almost daily or followers up the wazoo. I don't really need a crapload of followers or comments, but to know there's more people reading this blog than my little sister would be awfully nice.
The answer to most of these questions is because I am totally unsure of myself. It's something I've struggled with ALL MY LIFE! And I am sick of it, but it's one of those things that is just so hard to change!
I had to laugh/cry the other night while I was watching a past episode of "Ghost Whisperer." In short the person that was being 'haunted' was looking for a certain type of love. The ghost pointed out that the type of love she was looking for wasn't going to be found with another person. In short, she needed to love herself before she could get the acceptance and love she was after.
It's totally where I struggle. Loving myself....It ain't easy.
