That's The Way He Rolls

The youth in our Stake were able to go on Trek this year. Originally I didn't think I'd have to worry about it as the cut off date was in May. Only those 14 and up were able to go. Tanis doesn't have a birthday until July, so I didn't give it much thought.

Then my friend - who also happens to be the Bishop's wife and the one kind of in-charge of Trek - tracked me down and asked if Tanis was going to go. When I asked her about the cut-off she said they had moved it to August. That meant Tanis was able to go and they did it because in 4 years these 14 year old boys will be prepping for missions. HOLY COW - 4 years.

I knew Tanis wouldn't exactly be thrilled to go and I had no way of knowing exactly the experience he'd actually be having, but I knew that anyone that had ever done it before had said it was totally worth it. I appealed to his good nature and told him that his grandma had gone and so had his aunt when she was about his age. I made him laugh by saying, "If Kaeloni did it, you can do it."

As the day approached I was getting more nervous and Tanis was getting more excited. We had fun going shopping, just him and I, for the items he'd need the Saturday before he left. I couldn't believe how big my baby boy was getting.

Bright and early on the morning of 23rd, I took my pioneer over to the church to get all set out to go.

I was super anxious the 3 days he was gone. My kid's not really an outdoorsy kid and while he is a hard worker when he needs to be - he's not used to a lot of hard work. I worried that he'd be with no one that he knew and he'd come home and tell me he was miserable the entire time.

I missed my biggest helper and there was more than a few times I wanted to call and ask for his help, only to realize he was gone. His absence was definitely noticed - so I was super excited to go pick him up. I'll admit there were tears when I saw my little boy.

He had gotten some sun and his white shirt was brown. He was super excited to see his little brother and was all smiles when we got there.

We could tell he was tired, but he was in great spirits. He said that it was a good experience and he'd do it again. He was put in a 'family' with another kid from our ward and he knew a couple people from school. I was so glad to hear that. He talked about how excited he was when he got his notes from us and that he told everyone I had used a Harry Potter font just for him. He later told me that he was the only kid he knew of that got 2 letters. I suppose most parents either wrote a letter together or put it in the same envelope.

I am glad Tanis got to have this experience and that it was a positive one in his life. I'm thankful for his willing attitude and that he rarely complains about difficult things. Most of all, I'm happy that he is so positive more often than not.

What Happens Next...

Time Out For Women

For the past little while my mom has really wanted to take her girls to a Time Out For Women. Well, none of us has really had the funds to blow readily available for the conferences held in the months since she discovered TOFW. For whatever reason, though, she decided enough was enough and in January she asked if us girls were interested. It would have to be our birthday presents for the year, but my Mom could make it work if we wanted it.

I was 100% in. I talked to Eric right away so that he could get the Friday off. The venue we chose was only about an hours drive from my mom's house, but we decided it'd be fun to stay in a hotel since the conference is a Friday night, Saturday day thing. So, it ended up that all I needed to pay for was to chip in for the hotel room and food for the time I was gone. So very inexpensive, all things considered and Eric knew that it would be good for me and was willing to do whatever was necessary to make sure I could get there.

Then came the Strep. I was so sick and so worried I wouldn't feel well enough to go after all was said and done. Thankfully, with modern medicine and lots of prayers I felt just fine when it was time to go. I left around 2:00 on Friday the 21st and headed to my Mom's. We waited for just a little bit for my older sister to get back from a meeting she had to go to and then we were on our way.

We got to the hotel around 4:00, got all checked in and then tried to decide what to do about dinner. The conference started at 6:30, so we wanted to make sure we had time to eat and time to get to the event center.

Due to modern day technology, my little sister grabbed her phone and found places to eat nearby. We finally decided on Outback Steakhouse. I decided to take a picture of my food and send it to Eric to make him just a little bit jealous.

I was kind of dissapointed with my meal. It just wasn't as yummy as I had hoped. We left dinner quickly and headed to the event center. Because the place was packed and there wasn't really anywhere left to park, we dropped my mom and little sister off at the front to go stand in line for us. Meanwhile, my older sister and I found a place to park and went to meet my mom and sister in line.

While we weren't in the front of the place, we had a pretty nice place with a walkway in front of us and a big screen just a few feet in front of us, so it was perfect.

The following are my notes from the speakers and I'm writing them down mostly for my benefit, so that I have a place where I know they're at. These are the things that jumped out at me. They are the things I felt I really needed to hear.

MARIAMA KALLON - Grew up in worn-torn Sierra Leone and witnessed the horrific murders of her family.

- PROVERBS 3: 5-6
   "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
     In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
- Heavenly Father knows our wants and desires. He knows us better than we know ourselves!
- ALMA 37:37
  "Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day."
- We're NOT alone.
- HOW FIRM A FOUNDATION - Thomas S. Monson, October 2006
- HELAMAN 5:12 (Her Favorite Scripture)
  "And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."

HEIDI SWINSON - Author and screenwriter with lots of PBS documentaries. Also wrote President Monson's biography.

- Instead of Lead, Kindly Light look at it as Lead! Kindly Light.
- Do you follow that light?
- Parable of the 10 Virgins
- MATTHEW 25:4
  "But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps."
- We are light, our heart is our vessel.
- Spend time with those you feel light from.
- Our personal interests help fill our vessel.
- How do you share your time in the temple, sacrament meeting and scripture reading? It's not a relay race.
- DOCTRINE AND COVENANTS 45
  - They Received Truth
     - Alma the Younger speaking of his father's conversion
     - Abinadi kept speaking, even when he was in a fire
     - THE MORAL FORCE OF WOMEN - D. Todd Christofferson, October 2013
     - NO OTHER GODS - Dallin H. Oaks, October 2013
       - Do I have other Gods? What are they?
       - Stop with the "If I Just Had....", what the Lord's given us is all we need.
   - Taken Holy Spirit as Guide
      - President Monson took to visiting the widows in his home ward. One such widow was one of his Primary teachers. He'd take the time to visit with her and feed her. One other person in the nursing home told him to stop wasting his time because she never spoke to anyone. He continued talking to her and patting her hand. At one moment she said, "I know you. You're Tommy Monson. My Primary boy."
     - "Difficulities allow us to change for the better." Thomas S. Monson
     - Heidi faced the difficulty of the death of her newborn
        - JOHN 14:27
          "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
        - No worldly accolades are worth more than the knowledge of an Eternal Family.
      - Heidi shared the following story: One day in church someone fairly new in the ward, casually asked her how she was. For whatever reason she responded by saying, "I'm going to stop buying socks, they just get lost and you can never find the match." She felt bad for responding in such a way, especially to someone who barely knew her and being the Stake President's wife she didn't want to appear that she couldn't handle what life was giving her at the time.
The next day there was a phone call. Her husband answered it and it was the same lady that had asked how things were the day before. She asked if she could bring dinner every night for the next two weeks. Heidi said her husband immediately said, 'Yes.' But had she answered the phone the answer would've been a direct 'No, I'm okay....'
This lady came every day for the next 2 weeks with a meal. It was a little thing, but it was her way of saying, "I can light your way."
        - Here's What I Can Do To Help (really think about it)
           - Pray!!!

In between the speakers Friday night, Jenny Oaks Baker performed for us. She is a classical violinist and played a few songs for us. In between the song she said a few a words. The things that stood out for me were these:

- We should focus on making sure our own family is running smoothly before we concentrate on the world running smoothly.
- There is the saying that the most important thing a father can do for his kids is to love their mother. She feels its also important that a mother love her children's father and honors his priesthood.
- Happy Father's = Happy Families

When Friday night had concluded we headed back to the hotel. We got up to the room and started to discuss some of us wanting ice cream and if we were going to go back out to get some. Once again, my little sister gets on her phone and finds a frozen yogurt place closeby. We head back down the elevator and see this on the main floor:

The fire alarm was covered with a rubber glove. I don't know how we missed it when we first got back, but we found it hilarious when we did see it. We couldn't figure out why in the world someone would cover it up or why the hotel hadn't taken it down. It was late at night and so that just made it even more hilarious.

After our trip to the frozen yogurt place, we came back and for whatever reason my mom just could not figure out how in the world the glove was attached the the fire alarm. My older sister tried explaining it to her and finally said something like, "It works like a condom." My little sister and I cracked up (we also don't think my mom heard what my older sister said) and I said, "I don't think she even knows how a condom works." Kind of mean, but she didn't hear me and she probably would've laughed if she had.

We get back up to our room and after thinking for it a bit, my older sister says, "You know they probably covered the alarm because of the construction going on." She's smart like that. The alarm probably kept going off because of dust in the air or something, so they covered it up. We went to bed later than we should've, but we had fun.

Saturday started earlier than I would've liked, but I'm not a morning person. We had a quick breakfast in the hotel lobby and then headed out to the conference for the day. I was excited because Jericho Road would be performing. More on that later, though.

So we take seats in the same row we were in the night before and got set for a new day of inspirational words.

MARY ELLEN EDMUNDS - Author and great comedic act

- Saved By A Sunbeam

   - She shared this story about leaving an ice cream shop as a small family was coming in. There were a couple of kids and the older brother she guessed was about 5 or 6 would not leave the little 3 year old sister alone. The parents gave him a few warnings and one of them was that he wouldn't get any ice cream if he didn't stop. Well, he didn't stop and the parents were going to follow through with their punishment when the sister stepped in saying, "He'll be nice, he won't do it again. I promise."

- Jesus STILL wants us for a Sunbeam

- When someone asks how are you, respond with HAPPY

- What is our uniform? Armor of Light

- It's better to light a candle, than curse the darkness

- Heavenly Father knows every star - I am known. I'm unlike any other sunbeam - "You're Not a Clone."

- He died for me, but he came back.

- Let Us All Speak Kind Words

WHITNEY JOHNSON - Blog creator of Dare To Dream

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM?

 - Rely on personal revelation to know what God wants us to achieve

DARE TO DREAM

 - Make meaning of your life

 - Truly grow up

    - Harbor and a Ship

 - Children can dream

DREAM

- What did you love doing as a child?

- Rely on Feminine Strengths

- What was your favorite church calling?

- Where do you feel strong?

DO

- Date A Dream

- Start with what you have

- Show Up!!!

JOHN HILTON III - Assistant Professor of Ancient Scripture at BYU and Author

- Book of Isaiah

  Do as Nephi instructed: Liken Scriptures to Self

- "CEASE TO DO EVIL, LEARN TO DO WELL."

   - Gossip?!?!?

   - Negative speaking

   - 5 examples of small changes

     - No phone or devices when kids are around

     - Listen to the Mormon channel when doing laundry

     - Think of 1 thing you're thankful for before saying prayers (family prayers too)

     - Stop complaining about spouse in public

     - Wearing church clothes all day on Sunday

  - THE LORD WILL MULTIPLY THE HARVEST - Henry B. Eyring, Feb. 6, 1998

    - Steadiness & Inspiration

- "THEY THAT MURMURED SHALL LEARN DOCTRINE"

  - Never complain about problems

    - Turn complaint into something I am committed to

    - What can I do to make it happen?

    - “For every worry under the sun there is a remedy or there is none; if there is a remedy hurry and find it. If there is none never mind it.” - LeGrand Richards

      - If it can't be changed - let it be

    - Complaining is Not A Strategy

       -"Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch

    - Serving

       - Problems pale in comparison

    - Others have it worse

    - Isaiah 61 - Give praise for heaviness

- "I WILL BE WITH THEE, WHEN THOU WALKED THROUGH THE FIRE"

  - "Can a woman forget her sucking child"

    - Isaiah 49: 14-16

      "But Zion said, The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me.

       Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.

       Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."

    - Isaiah 43: 1-3

      "But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.

       When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

       For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour: I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Seba for thee."

  - At some point, God will intervene

  - AN HIGH PRIEST OF GOOD THINGS TO COME - Jeffrey R. Holland, November 1999

   - "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." - Jeffrey R. Holland

- THE WORK OF RIGHTEOUSNESS...BRINGS QUIETNESS.

- Isaiah 32:17

  "And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever."

TAMU SMITH & ZANDRA VRANES - Sistas in Zion Blog Writers

- What you have is unique & ENOUGH!!!

- Search For The Lord

  - Matthew 7:7

    "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:"

  - SASS takes action

-Act on His Atonement

  -Bled from every pore for MY pain and suffering

   - Alma 5:14

     "And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?"

   - The things that are different about me are the things that make me like those I'm missing.

   - Make myself what he created me to be.

     - Doctrine & Covenants 82:10

       "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

- Share Your Gifts

  - You share what you have to give.

  - What you have is unique and enough - AND exactly what the world needs.

Search, Act, Savor & Share - SASS

KRIS BELCHER - Motivational Speaker 

- Children of Israel loathed the gifts they were given, died after being bit by serpents, could be healed if they would look at snakes on the staff.

- Why will you not look?

  - Not always delivered out of our problems

- Hear Me Mom!

  - Knowing that his mother couldn't see what he was doing, he started saying - "Hear Me, Mom!" Applicable in my life?

- Wait Upon The Lord

   - What makes a good waiter?

      - Wait on the Lord by waiting on the Lord

         - LOOK UP

            - Turn complaints into prayer

               - "LIKE A BROKEN VESSEL" - Jeffrey R. Holland, October 2013

                 - Hope is never lost.

            - "Wait for me, I don't want you to get hurt."

              - Kris told the story of how her and her husband went to some sort of show and after he parked the car, she wanted to show him how independent she could be. She got out of the car and started walking and walked right into a cement pillar. After explaining herself to her husband, he said to her - "Next time, please wait for me. I dont' want you to get hurt."

          - LOOK IN

            - Know difference between limits and limitations

            - What can I control?

            - Act INSTEAD of react

            - What do you have to give? You have something to give.

              - Kris discovered she can give laughter.

            - It's okay to laugh.

          - LOOK OUT

            - Things you have are the things people around you need.

Saturday's speakers were full of fun things to say. I don't think I've laughed so hard, so continuously for a long time. And while that would have been enough, the day wasn't complete without hearing from Jericho Road.

Jericho Road came together as a band in 2001. At the time I was 21, just a few years past being a 'teenager', so I was still in that silly frame of mind when I first saw them. They were fun to watch and sounded great and they sung church music. I was hooked.

I don't think my mom realized they were performing when she got the tickets for us. Nor do I think she realizes just how much I enjoy their sound. So I was super excited that they performed. While they performed their own songs,  they also favored us with a medley of boy band favorites starting with The Jackson 5. Definitely entertaining.

...This guy reminds me of one of Eric's friends...

In between songs members of Jericho Road said a few things here and there. The one note I wrote down was to refer to President Monson's talk, WE NEVER WALK ALONE from October 2013 General Relief Society Meeting.

These were the two songs they performed that stuck with me.

TESTIFY TO LOVE

DON'T HIDE YOUR FACE
I couldn't find a video already made for this song, so I put one together using images found with Google, LDS.org and GregOlsen.com.

This was definitely something I needed. I was glad to have gotten to spend this time with my sisters and my mom. I'm also thankful for a loving, supportive husband who knows my needs. Time Out For Women is something I think I'm going to try to go to more often, it really inspired me and lifted me up.

What Happens Next...

Young Lady

Shaylyn is officially 12 now. That makes me sad. I don't know how 12 years went so fast, but suddenly we no longer have a little girl, but a young woman.

Shaylyn's gift request this year was simple: "A rainbow loom and maybe if there's money left, another Novi Star." I happened across the Rainbow Loom when I wasn't even shopping for her birthday. Eric and I had gone to Michael's to get stuff for another craft I was working on and when I saw the Rainbow Loom and saw that it was much cheaper than I expected, I grabbed it. We also got lucky and found a Novi Star for a good price on Amazon. So even though it looks like she got spoiled, we really didn't spend any more on her than we do for anyone's birthday.

...I totally used up some more of the Christmas wrapping paper. No where on it does it say Holidays or Christmas, and Shaylyn's birthday is still in the winter - so it works...

She was so grateful for each of her gifts and made sure to thank us. We had a fairly low-key night. We had her favorite dinner of Spaghetti & Meatballs for dinner and we had brownies for a dessert. While the dessert was baking and we were watching some of our favorite shows to watch as a family, we heard a knock on the door. Eric talked to someone for a minute, then asked the kids to leave the room. A few minutes later we heard another knock and discovered this:

Now that Shaylyn is 12, she is in Young Women's. She couldn't be more thrilled. She was ready to be out of Primary. So the cute little beehive class came with one of their leaders and decorated our door for Shaylyn's birthday. She loved it and wanted to keep it on the door until the next night when she was having her party.

What Happens Next...

Life Is Just One Crushing Defeat After Another... Sometimes.

Let's rewind a couple weeks, shall we? Let's discuss the week of February 13 to today. Now don't worry, I'm not gonna give you a run down of each of these days - but what I am talking about all takes place in this time frame.

Let's Begin....

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13 - So I get up the nerve to call a missed number from the week before. I was pretty sure the number was from a place where I had applied for a job. I was waiting for them to call back and they never did - so I got the nerve up and called them.

To my surprise and delight they said they had an interview that day at either 2 or 4. I opted for the 2:00.

Eric messaged me a few minutes later letting me know that I may have to go pick him up. He wasn't feeling well and needed to come home. He had carpooled with one of his buddies and though he was trying to convince his buddy to cut out of work early (he's a bad influence, I know), he hadn't heard from him.I told Eric that was okay because I had just set up this interview at 2. It would work out well. He could get off at the TRAX station right by this business and we were set.

We had lunch and then I went to the interview. I thought the interview went well and the hours were totally doable. I'd have to get a babysitter (which I counted on anyway), but the hours were totally doable. The guy interviewing said he had interviewed like 4 people already and had another one after me, but they should know by 5:00 that night what they were doing and someone would call.

Being a mother of 5, life get's busy sometimes. I went and picked Tanis up from band and then I had to get some groceries. Then it was time for dinner and spending time with Eric. Before I realized it, it was like 9:00 at night and I hadn't gotten a call. I wasn't too worried, just thought maybe the day at the business got too busy and she'd call the next morning.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 14 - Happy Valentine's Day!

I honestly had no expectations for this day. Eric and I had agreed that we'd celebrate on the weekend and that was fine. I made cookies for the kids and I to decorate. Then I went about making a card for Eric to go with his simple Valentine's Day Gift.

Eric gets home from works, hands me a card and then is pretty much done for the day. Whatever sickness he was getting had finally taken it's toll on him. After dinner we sat down and watched our tv shows. It actually ended up being okay that we didn't do anything this day anyway because my back was in so much pain anyway. (More on that later)

By Tuesday night, I still hadn't received a phone call.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 15 - The optimist in me had laid this story out in my head that the interviewee after me couldn't make it on Monday and so they had the interview on Tuesday, so I'd for sure get a call today.

By the early afternoon, I knew I wasn't going to get a call today or later. I just knew I didn't get the job. Again, I could've called the company, but why call just to hear, "Yeah, we went another direction" or some other form of the same?

This day would have also been my Grandma M.'s birthday. (The one who passed away in September) So my thoughts were centered around her and all the regrets I have about the lack of relationship we had, and that it could've been so much better.

Eric had gotten the flu and was sick in bed all day. I am not a good nurse and tried to keep him happy and resting peacefully, keep the kids quiet and keep myself occupied and it wasn't easy.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 16 - Still felt really upset about the job, still hoping by some miracle I'd get a late phone call. Of course, it didn't happen. I start feeling that I'm just supposed to be at home right now, not working though there's no real reason I can see.

I go to the church to set up for a R.S. activity that night (I was recently called to be part of the R.S. activity board) and I am able to let go of a lot of stress. During set up I get a text from a somewhat familiar number, then reading the text I know it's from the ward clerk asking if Eric and I could meet with a member of the bishopric that night. Eric still wasn't feeling good, but because I'm impatient when it comes to callings, I set up the time for like 7:45 that night. I was already going to be at the church, so it wasn't a biggie. Until I called Eric and he reminded me he couldn't drive because he was so hopped up on medicine. So I'd just have to go get him and then take him back home. No biggie, really.

After setting up for the activity, I then head to the music store to pick up Shaylyn's next set of Piano books (she is just cruising along) and found a book on clearance for me that ended up being like $3.00. I was happy.

After eating dinner I head back over to the church. Our activity is tying quilts and visiting while Visiting Teaching interviews are going on. I had thought I set my appt. for 7:30, but turned out I put 8:30. Hahaha. So I go get Eric at 7:40 so we can go visit the bishop at 7:45.

Our meeting with the bishop is short and bittersweet. He can tell Eric isn't feeling well and cuts to the chase. He releases us both from nursery, but doesn't give either of us a new calling. I am dumbfounded. I feel like I've been fired. Any other time I've been released there's been a calling behind it or it was because I had just had a baby.

I take Eric home and head back the the church, my head still reeling. The VT interviews are going over and before we know it men have come to play basketball. We start cleaning up and then wait in the hall while the RS presidency comes and grabs the last few of us.

My VT interview goes off without too much emotion. Towards the end I do get emotional realizing that in 13 years of marriage I've only had 1 VT come regularly, and we've only had 1 set of Home Teachers come regularly. It's kind of a depressing thought.

I come out of my interview and notice a member of the Primary Presidency sitting on the couch, so I decide to just chat with her and see if she knows what was going on with the release. She was just as shocked as I was. Talking to her is when the tears really started coming. She assured me that they had no idea it was coming and they thought we did an excellent job. I felt a little better after talking with her. She had some wonderful insight.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 17 - I wake up this morning, hopeful. Then I realize Eric is still sick which means we aren't going to be going out to celebrate V-Day.

I try not to let it bother me and am excited for our neighborhood scrapbooking/project day. I'll be able to get out of the house, do something I enjoy and relax. Hahaha! Ailey was a stinker and wanted to be held the whole time, which means I got pretty much zero accomplished.

I hit the end of my rope and decide to go home. Nathaniel is sad and doesn't want to leave his friends, so my good friend Heather says she'll bring him home when she's done. I say thank you and I am off. I get home in tears and just DONE! Eric tries to convince me to go back and to leave Ailey with him, but I didn't feel right doing that. He still felt crappy and she was ornery - not a good mix.

To my surprise, and probably because I had had a crappy morning, Eric was so sweet and gathered up whatever strength he had to take me out still. We went to Olive Garden where he had NOTHING but a hot chocolate. He ordered a pizza, but just couldn't eat. I felt bad but realized just how awesome a husband I have.

After dinner I asked how Eric was feeling because I wanted to go to Target. I can't remember now if I needed something or not. Anyway, we perused the store for a bit. My Valentines Day present to myself was a big Tinkerbell stuffed doll thing. The tag says it's a pillow, but ha!

I had a good night out and was thankful for it!

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 18 - I wake up with a slight sore throat and the cough that's been moving through the family. I'm not too worried, but it's still annoying.

I made plans with Heather to go to the DI to look for costumes for our 6th graders Renaissance Fair (more on that in a day or so). The costumes came together so quickly and easily. Then we both found a new outfit for church. It's amazing how much you get at the DI for so little money. (When you get lucky and actually find good items)

After the DI we headed to Hobby Lobby. I used my 'allowance' money and get some items I wanted. We then head home so that Heather can go out with her hubby and I can go rescue my recovering hubby from children.

We have a quiet night and decide to end the night watching our wedding video. Well I can't find the disc, so I default to the videotape we have (THE ORIGINAL WEDDING VIDEO). Eric had set up a VCR a few weeks before so I thought we were a go. Well for whatever reason as soon as the HIFI kicks in on the VCR the sound on the tape goes. So we watched our wedding video in quiet. It's kind of interesting to do. I highly recommend you try it sometime.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 19 - I wake up sick. Actually, Eric and I could both tell I was sick the moment we woke up. I was burning. Eric said he could tell because, "I don't usually wake up to a heater." Thankfully, Eric was feeling better and kept me hopped up on Ibuprofen throughout the day.

I am frustrated because I wanted to be in Nursery my one last week and ended up getting sick.

THE NEXT FEW DAYS - Thankfully I am only sick for a few days. Eric had President's Day off and we had Shaylyn stay home on Tuesday to help me out with the kids. She is an awesome helper. In the course of my sickness my back pain has increased - enough that I want to cry at times. We go to the dr. the next day and she tells us it's probably just 'muscle spasms'. Gives me some rx's for Ibuprofen and and a muscle relaxer. I can't take the muscle relaxer during the day because it makes you drowsy, but I do have the 500 mg Ibuprofen tablets for the day.

Guess what though, neither one seems to really work. In fact the muscle relaxer almost makes the pain worse. Eric thinks it's from the muscle relaxing (which if it's a muscle issue, it should), but some other people have said it shouldn't make it worse. Time will tell.

We had a nice night out this past Friday. We had an intimate dinner at the BEST Chinese food place EVER (Okay, in truth - I've only tried 3 different places) and then met up with some friends to see Unicorn City. It was a much better movie than I thought it would be and had an enjoyable time. And for the record: ERIC is NOTHING like the gamers portrayed in this movie. He's not into dressing up and playing in the woods acting out some random confrontation. Probably given the choice he would more likely play a board/card game than a role playing game.

So yesterday, we drop Ailey off in what used to be 'our' nursery and she ends up being one of those kids that cries and tries to leave with the parents. I probably should've had Eric drop her off as she's been more attached to me recently, oh well.

I sadly leave the room and go to Sunday School. I probably sit for 10 minutes before I have to get up and go check on Ailey. She is snuggling up with one of the brothers that had volunteered to do nursery that day (don't have replacements called yet...), but she's stopped crying. I go back to Sunday School.

Relief Society is next and I am thankful I got to hear the lesson. My wonderful neighbor and beautician, Jobi taught the lesson. She did wonderfully and I really got something out of the lesson. I wish I had the time and memory to do her lesson justice, but in short here's what I took from it, "I need to do the things I'm supposed to do and then I'll feel better about life."

Now I'm not walking around doing things I SHOULDN'T be doing, but I'm certainly not doing some good things that I really should be doing. Thank you so much, Jobi!

TO WRAP UP: If you are still reading this, bless you. I know I rambled. A. LOT.

All I wanted to get out is that as much as I complained about being in Nursery and being put in Nursery after teaching the 7/8 year old - I still grew to love it. And it wasn't so much about being in Nursery - it was that the only 'real' callings I've had have been in the Primary organization.

I learned to love these cute little children. Little O became my bestest friend and wouldn't leave my side. She didn't like her parents dropping her off, but I could get her from her mom in the hallway and she was just fine. (Broke my heart to see that she didn't go to Nursery Sunday either, guess she was sick?) Little N knew me and recognized me in pictures (Her Mom said so). I got to be involved in K's life and get to know a side of him I never would've had the opportunity to have. K taught me a lot about patience and gave me a new respect for his parents. (I already respected them tons for dealing with his issues, but even more so after spending 2 hours with him every week). I never knew I had any impact on such young things. It was so awesome to see Eric interact with other people's kids and see a side of my husband that is rarely seen. It was nice to have that time with my husband. It was a very easy calling as far as prep work. I really will miss these little ones.

So for all you that heard me complain, and those of you whose sweet little kids I got the opportunity to be with - THANK YOU and know that I am really struggling with this release. I always said I wanted to be released, but when it came down to it - I guess I really didn't. The heart is mightier than the mind! Know that I truly loved your kids!

I realize how much Eric does for me on a daily basis - even if it is the little things. I realized how much I've come to rely on him everyday when he walks through that door. I couldn't be a single parent, and I am thankful God blessed me with someone who is strong where I am weak.

I am anxious for what the future is bringing. First of all to not get a job I would've totally enjoyed to be 'fired' from a calling I was learning to love and not having anything to jump into scares me. I am probably thinking and looking at this way more than I should - but it's just me.

I believe the Lord knows what's in store for our family - but because I don't recent events are really taking its toll on me. I need to rely on the Lord and realize that he KNOWS what's best for our family. These past few weeks haven't turned out in the ways I wanted and I need to realize that it's okay, and it will be okay. Things will be better and we'll be blessed in the ways we need.

What Happens Next...

I'm Baaaaack!!!!

So, I've been missing for awhile.

Let's just say life hasn't really been going the way I'd like it to go lately. There's been nothing major and we've had some fun, but it's also just been life.

June was a difficult month, besides Lex's birthday party flop - I also had to deal with something else that's been bothering me.

Towards the end of June I get a call from the Ward Clerk who asks me if Eric and I can meet with Bro. M. the next day at such & such time. I say yes and then spend all day wondering what the calling might be. Kind of hoping it's for Eric and not me. Eric was ready to be done with Scouts. I was hoping if it was for me it'd be a kind of side calling.

Well we go in Sunday and sure enough Eric gets released and I get 'moved'. We both get called to be in Nursery. I was 'moved' because I was already technically called to Primary and Nursery is part of Primary. Of course we accepted, but I was heartbroken. Eric was thrilled.

I absolutely LOVE the 7/8 year olds. They are AMAZING!!! I got pulled from working with them to dealing with 18 - 24 month old babies. It's not a fun adjustment. I know that sounds horrible, and I'm not really angry. I'm just sad.

It's a good thing for Ailey, however. She got to go to Nursery 4 months early and is in HEAVEN! She loves being able to play with all the toys, and having snack time. Eric is happy because he doesn't have to 'fight' with her all through church now.

The only struggle Ailey's had is jealousy here and there. She doesn't always like when Mommy or Daddy is holding another kid. But thankfully she's not a mean jealous, she just wants to be held as well.

And our ward did split this young nursery up. We only have about 10 kids as does the other class. Plus we've got about 3 or 4 coming in in the next few months. Can you imagine 2 people dealing with 20+ young toddlers? So yes, I understand why it was necessary - I'm just struggling to really be happy there. It will come with time. Especially since, for the time being, all the kids in our class are EASY and adjust fairly well. And I get to spend my whole Sunday with Eric. I've missed being in Sunday School with him. So that'll be nice.

Anyway, that's the emotional side of things. On a happier note, we just got back last weekend form a wonderful trip to Nebraska to visit Eric's maternal grandparents. It was an awesome trip.
And I know travel logs can sometimes be boring and a bit much to take all at one time, so I broke it down into days. That way if something strikes your fancy you can read it. I probably wouldn't have even shared a travel log, but like I say over and over again, this serves as my journal as well - so for my mental well being I have to do it.

DAY 1: THE ROAD IS LONG
DAY 2: HOME, SWEET HOME (TEMPORARILY)
DAY 3: A QUIET SUNDAY
DAY 4: OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY CELEBRATIONS
DAY 5: WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
DAY 6: COOKIES & LATE NIGHT TALKS
DAY 7: FAMILY HISTORY LESSON
DAY 8 & 9: ON THE ROAD AGAIN

What Happens Next...

Nebraska: Day 3 - Sunday, July 3, 2011

On Sunday we went to Sacrament Meeting with Eric's grandparents. His grandparents building has done their schedules a bit odd, so their Sacrament Meeting was at 9:30. CRAZINESS. It takes probably 10 - 15 minutes to get to their church building (We're not in Utah anymore, Toto), so we had to be ready to go around 9:00.

Eric's grandparents have 1 bath/shower - 1! That's 11 people trying to get ready each day and on Sunday we all had to be ready by 9:00! Thankfully I knew this so the kids had bathed on Saturday night. Eric's parents and grandparents are all fairly early risers so they battled that out earlier on and then Eric got ready and then I did. It was hectic -but hey, we made it on time!

After Sacrament Meeting we went back to Eric's grandparents house. I wasn't feeling well (I hadn't slept well the past 3 nights) so I tried to take a nap. Well the kids kept coming down bugging me, so I gave up and went up to visit with the rest of the family.

Eventually, Eric's brother and girlfriend offered to take the kids to the park so I could rest. They would've taken Ailey, but I thought I could get her to go to sleep if I snuggled with her. Eric had fallen asleep and was unaware of what was going on, but when he woke up - he headed to the park as well.

I spent a bit of time chatting with Eric's mom and grandma and then one by one we all fell asleep or dozed off. Even Ailey. And it's so much nicer to rest with a sweet baby, isn't it? I was resting for an hour or so when everyone came back and I actually felt better! It's amazing what a little bit of sleep can do.

We had dinner and I ate way too much like I always do with Sunday Dinner and a little bit after dinner one of Eric's aunt's came over to visit. Eric's mom has 5 siblings. 2 of them live in Utah around her, 3 of them live in Nebraska near her parents. So this aunt came over to visit. We had a very nice visit and it was so nice of her to come. We all had a nice visit with her and her husband. They are both fairly quiet people, but we were able to come up with topics that kept them involved. Eric is convinced that Shaylyn will look like this aunt when she is older. I don't see it 100%.

It was just a quiet Sunday and one of those perfect days of not needing to be anywhere or do anything.

What Happens Next...

Service...With A Smile!

This past Thursday our Scouts did a Thanksgiving Themed Food Drive for Pack Meeting. The boys and their families, plus us leaders divided up the streets and collected the food.

I hate to admit this, but I did NOT want to do this at all. In our planning meeting I was trying everything I could to find an excuse to not do a food drive. I didn't want to keep track of x amount of boys running up and down the streets, yada, yada, yada. I also didn't want to have to take my baby out in the cold that long or to keep track of Lex. Plus, I knew that Eric would be "overjoyed" to participate.

Well I pretty much got shot down and the food drive is what was decided upon. The day of the food drive I was getting really stressed out. Tanis had a book report due the next day and we hadn't yet finished the book, so we had to finish the book and then we still had to put the book report together (More on that in a later post).

It was about 6:00 and we had to be at the meeting place at 6:30. I hurried to get a bag together for the little boys to go with Eric. We decided that Eric would go hang out with some friends while I took the older two kids with me. Remember I did NOT want my baby out in the cold for that long - I should mention it's because he's had a bad cold and I didn't want to make it worse.

So we finally finish up Tanis' book report around 6:15 and hurried to get ourselves presentable and headed over to the place we were meeting. I was still a bit stressed out and not looking forward to the night, but whatever.

We arrive at the place and not a lot of people have shown up yet, so that eased some of the stress I was having. Eventually six families show up so we have the usual Presentation of the Colors and the boys did a cute little skit before we headed out.

There are 3 streets in our ward area, so 2 boys and families were sent to each street. Tanis and his friend Taylor ended up going with me and another set of leaders to our street. At our street we divided up yet again to have each scout do one side of the street. Tanis ended up with the other leader and Taylor with me (still not sure how that happened).

I will tell you that by the 3rd or 4th house, my attitude changed. About halfway down the street one of the other Scout leaders came by in his pickup to empty the food out of our little wagons so we could have room for the rest of the food.

I was overwhelmed to see that the truck was already almost half full and we had only gotten halfway down the street. We completed our side of the street and started up the other side of the street as Tanis and the leader he was with weren't quite as far down as we had gotten.

We made sure we had the scouts go to the doors to collect the food and explain what we were doing in case the people had missed the notes we had passed out. It was fun to see Tanis get over being shy and explain what was going on. He still had all the quirks people do when they are shy and talking to people, but he did it and that was cool.

After we finished our street we headed back to the home where we started for cookies and hot chocolate. It was so very interesting to see how much food was collected. The food filled up the back of the pick up and I was so very impressed. (I blurred the boys' faces so that no parents would be offended, hopefully)

Now, we could have left it at that, but on Monday the Scouts delivered Thank-Yous to each of the houses in the area. One of the scouts moms was smart enough to think to make the thank-yous.

I also had the opportunity, last night, to help sort through the food with a few other ladies in the Relief Society. I don't usually get to do the service type things because of Eric's delivery job, so when the opportunity presented itself on a night Eric would be home I had to do it.

It was amazing to actually see how much food there was. We had 14 families to take the food to and each of them got roughly the same amount of items and then a bunch of extra items. (I should mention that us R.S. ladies didn't take the food to the families, the bishopric took care of that.) It is so great to see how a little bit from everyone can go a long way.

I've always heard that service makes you feel better and all that you usually hear about it. But, I've never really experienced it quite the way I did this time around. I am so very thankful I had the opportunity and that it was able to change my whole outlook on the day.

What Happens Next...

Guess Who's Missing?

If you guessed Eric, you are right.

On Friday he found out he would be heading to D.C., again, on Sunday.

Eric works with a company that does some contract work for the Department of Defense. So the last time he was called out there it was to test some servers for some errors and then correct the errors. We all know how things went that time around and I thought all was well.

Well Friday morning he finds out that the Department of Defense guy that was the "witness" to what they did on the server - stepped down. Apparently his wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer and he wanted to be with her or whatever.

So, Eric had to leave to go to all the tests again in front of the new guy so that he knew what was going on.

I am sad to say that even though I knew why Eric had to go out there again, I was ticked. Partly because I was afraid of a longer trip than originally planned. And guess what, I just found out that instead of him being home Tuesday, he won't be home until Thursday.

Anyway Eric and I got into this argument about it and why I was so upset. During the course of the argument I told him that he had it easy. (For the most part, he only has to work until 4 and the rest of the time is his to do as he pleases. Me, I have 4 little bosses demanding something almost every minute)

Eric then said one thing that really made me stop and think. He said, "I would love to be able to stay home and snuggle with the kids."

Staying home is something I take for granted way too much. I don't usually take the time to think of how blessed I am to be home for my kids and to watch them learn and grow. It is something I have to constantly remind myself of. It is a blessing and not a curse.

Anyway, so Sunday came and Eric left early in the morning. I debated about going to church by myself with the 4 kids, but knew it was where I was supposed to be, so headed out. Halfway through Sacrament meeting, I was wondering why I was there. (Sorry again, Balls & Hackings) The kids do not behave real well unless Eric is there and I didn't have a lot of free arms as Nathaniel needed attention. So what do I do? Let the baby scream his head off or wrestle with the 3 older kids who know better? Neither one is real reverent...I was at a loss.

We make it through Sacrament meeting and the kids head to Primary and I head to Sunday School & Relief Society.

The lesson in Sunday School kinda went in one ear and out the other except for one quote that just floored me. It is as follows:

"Love is a potent healer. Realizing that, Satan would separate you from the power of the love of God, kindred, and friends, who want to help. He would lead you to feel that the walls are pressing in around you and there is no escape or relief. He wants you to believe you lack the capacity to help yourself and that no one else is really interested. If he succeeds, you will be driven to further despair and heartache. His strategy is to have you think you are not appreciated, loved, or wanted so that you in despair will turn to self-critisism and in the extreme even to despising yourself and feeling evil when you are not."

- Richard G. Scott

In Relief Society the lesson was about the letters Joseph Smith wrote to Emma while he was away. Joseph Smith was away quite a bit and left his wife and little family a lot. It was brought out that we are kind of lucky to live in such a technological age but at the same time it's kind of sad because the art of writing letters is lost.

This lesson hit me hard. How lucky am I that I can chat with my husband or even video chat with him while he is away. I don't have to wait weeks for a letter to hear how he was on Sunday and so forth.

In short, I am so thankful I actually went to church on Sunday and for the lessons that were presented. It was kind of the kick in the pants that I needed. Quit feeling sorry for myself and realize that I really don't have it as bad as I like to make it out to be.

What Happens Next...